Compassion

Imagine 50+ children in a large room, singing a praise song to the Lord in their native language. They aren't just mumbling the words, or humming the tune, they are singing with all their hearts with their beautiful, strong voices, so that the music echoes against the walls.

At YC Edmonton every year there is a table covered in hundreds of pictures of children from all over the world. We remember gazing at the smiling faces and wondering about the lives of these children; what are they really like? The table belonged to Compassion International, the sponsorship program which has a center here in Cebu, where we have experienced these children's singing and seen their glowing, smiling faces for ourselves.

We've been with these kids every Tuesday and Thursday for a couple weeks now; there are large group sessions, like we had tonight, and small groups where us Ambers split up. We feel our niche in this ministry is building relationships with the kids, and investing in their lives. We're working hard at memorizing all their names, AND which face goes with which name. We've enjoyed helping to teach songs, and interacting with the kids, and Amber Rae actually got to teach a class! She teaches 6-8 year olds and believes kids say the darndest things. Example: "Ate Amber Rae.....you are a tall nose!" Amberlea works with 9-13 year olds, a trying age, but she has the BEST personality to work with these kids!! Amberkay's group is age 10-12. These kids have taken it upon themselves to teach her EVERY word in the Cebuano language, which is very sweet of them, but a little overwhelming since her brain seems to shut down after about the tenth word.

Tonight there was a "birthday celebration," which meant lots of games and birthday wishes. We've learned that in the Philippines prayers and wishes for good health in the future are more important than gifts. We taught them several games, including one where they either had to quack like ducks or moo like cows, (with eyes closed) and find each other. Pretty hilarious!

After eating our rice with the kids, a group of about 10 of them walked us back to their homes in Lorega and introduced us to their families. In the dark cemetary, with cockroaches crawling over our feet (or flying into our faces, as the case may be), with stray dogs and cats brushing past our ankles, it might not seem like the loveliest, or safest place to be on a warm night; yet somehow we felt peace and protection. As we stood among the tombs about to say goodbye, Ghonro, a strong little Christian asked us if we would pray for them. We gathered in a circle, and held hands and prayed God's blessing over them. Somehow we felt like tonight was our open door into our ministry in Lorega.

We're thrilled to be able to see these kids on Tuesday at Compassion again. To be honest, these kids are blessing us far more than we are blessing them. Amber Rae thinks this sounds cheesy. (but she still believes it)

Love,

the Ambers. (We're a band now).

Glory Reborn

Two very long jeepney rides and a bit of a hop skip and a jump from our house, along a small, slanted street is a building called "Glory Reborn." It might look humble; from the outside you'd never guess that there's a good chance there is a baby being born inside, since an average of 50 babies are born there every month, and over 2,000 have been delivered in the past seven years. Inside, we are greeted by a beautiful lady, Hillary. She came to Cebu from Texas in 1999 for a missions trip. She came back in 2000 and has been here ever since; after completing her midwifery training, she started Glory Reborn seven years ago. Now she juggles gruelling 12 hours shifts at the clinic AND her first year medicine studies at one of the Universities here in Cebu. As she ushers us in, she apologizes for her appearance; she's been up the last 24 hours rushing all over Cebu to every health care facility and blood bank to find some blood for a patient; in all of Cebu, there is none of the type she needs. One blood bank was out of all blood whatsoever of any type. A blood bank. We tell her she doesn't need to apologize- she looks a lot better than we look after a good 10 hours of beauty sleep. We sit down on two of the three cots and she says usually at least one of them is full, but it's been a slow day. There were six births the night before. As we talk, and ask her questions about her ministry, our eyes get gradually wider, and we are simply fascinated with what she has to tell us. She sees a side of life which in Canada is usually joyous and exciting; in the Philippines, birth is not always what it should be.

A little while ago, Hillary delivered a woman's 15th baby. There were complications simply because her body was not in good shape. This is very common, Hillary tells us. These women don't take care of themselves and simply don't have time to recover fully in between births. I mean don't you think having one baby a year for 15 years would at least wear you down a little? Hillary is very excited because just this January, it became illegal in the Philippines to have home births. Again, very different scenario than in Canada. No competent midwife, caring husband, a warm bath, candles; nope, you're just squatting on the floor of your shanty, with all your relatives and most of your friends all around you and watching through the windows; the witch doctor will be the one to saw the umbilical cord--with a rusty knife. If you don't bleed to death at once, it's more likely than not you and your baby will die of infection.

Day before last, Hillary delivered a baby from a 15 year old. "What!" we cry in horror. Fifteen! Calmly, she tells us it was the girl's third. She had delivered her first when she was 12. My brain still can't process this. My sister is 12. The worst thing is, a 15 year old giving birth here is common. How on earth does this happen? we ask, baffled. She tells us many young mothers live in the Red Light district. We've heard of this place, it's downtown, some of the kids we know live near there. Hillary says she prays these girls will let their babies be sent to an orphanage; if they take them back to the brothel their masters take their babies and sell them to anyone who wants them-- for 1000p. That's something like 25 bucks. You can get a good Canadian steak meal for that much. And these are human beings, precious and loved by God. How do these girls get there in the first place? we wonder. Hillary says that brothel owners go out to the countryside and tell the parents of young girls they have a good job for them in the city, as a saleslady, or a waitress, and give the parents a few months wages in advance. Then they take these young girls to the big city, get them hopelessly addicted to drugs, and then they are stuck there. There is no way to leave, or get out. If they escape and are spotted, they can be shot. What about the police, we ask, aren't they doing anything about this? Hillary smiles. When she goes to visit the girls a couple times a week, she says there are cop cars lined up all along the street. They might even get free service. Due to the fact that Hillary sees quite a bit of darkness on a regular basis she replies sadly, "Welcome to the Philippines, it's so corrupt."

But, is there good news in all this sadness? Yes, there is. Through Glory Reborn, mothers are being given pre- and post-natal care, are being taught better health care, are being counselled by Christian counselors, and most of all are delivering their children safely. Praise God, even in such a place of spiritual death, the light of Christ still shines, and may it be that these children born in this little building will one day spread the good news to this needy nation of the Philippines!!

To GOD be the Glory.

AmberKay

Singing is not just for the shower.

Can i just say how much i love and appreciate that here nobody lets inhibitions stop them from singing. In a bookstore, we were looking for notebooks, and all of a sudden we heard someone singing along with the overhead music- we looked down the aisle and saw nobody and then we looked over to the cashier and she was just singing into her microphone at her register-nothing stopping her.

We went last week to visit our sewers, and as we entered one of their homes they right away put on the karaoke machine, and we spent an hour singing whatever songs we knew from the list- nobody hesitating to belt out the notes.

Yesterday at the beach, we all sang, mostly out of key and off pitch, but no one batted an eye, as we just enjoyed freeing ourselves through song.

I hear grown men here singing a high pitched song, putting their full effort into it as they are walking down the street.

just a comparison, i know some people back home who wouldn't be caught dead singing along to the radio or at any moment they feel, due to what they think others will think, or that they are not good enough to be singing out loud. NEWS FLASH!: Singing ain't just for the shower no more!!! Lets take notes from the Filipinos and just sing- no one cares!

Peace out

Amber Rae

Ocean, sunshine, friends, and God

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." Acts 2:38

"Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved" Mark 16:16

Yesterday, a sunny Sunday, we 3 Ambers got to witness a beautiful sight - In the waves of the ocean, 5 youth made the decision and commitment to follow and live for Christ and be baptized. We waded out into the ocean, hip deep, as the sun shone and waves gently rolled - we formed a circle around the 5. I wish I could tell you their names, but they escape me. The rest of us sang worship songs and rejoiced just as there was rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God (i'm sure), while the pastor prayed with and for each individual and lowered them into the water and brought them up again cleansed and forgiven. It was so exciting! I feel blessed to have been with this group yesterday and see their faith and them living it out.

The day started early, as we all met outside of Jollibee (fast food restaurant) and than took a rather long jeepney ride to the ocean :) As we all packed ourselves into one jeepney and started rolling, the driver put on his music and it blasted through the entire jeepney. I was extremely excited, as i love loud music, especially heard through awful speakers situated right under the seats ;) it was quite the experience, loved it! we spent the majority of the day in fellowship, as one of the youth, Joey ( i like to call him Fish or Chips) played the guitar and we all sang what ever worship songs we knew. We all waited patiently, secretly hiding our hunger pains, as the cooks grilled some of the best fish i have ever had. Filled our bellies and after had the baptism. After, we all swam and 'frolicked' in the sea and laughed - and after swimming of course we had more rice ;) When it was dark we ventured back to the busy road, found an empty jeepney and started home. I loved the moment as everyone settled in and closed their eyes, ready to nap after a tiring day, and once again the driver blasted music through the awful speakers. I cheered with delight and started dancing...as much as you can in cramped quarters, and embraced the comical moment :) And we unloaded as 3 sun burnt Canadians - the price we pay for a day in the sun.

Conclusion: Yesterday was a fantastic and successful day, full of God, full of friendship, sunshine, laughter, great memories and comical and memorable conversations. 5 stars and 2 enthusiastic thumbs up.

Peace Out

Amber Rae

Life Among Death

Hey, Amberlea here. I figured since the other girls were going post crazy, I'd better write one too. So I decided to write on a topic we have mentioned, but not yet really expanded on in this blog. That topic is Lorega.

Cebu City is divided into communities, one of them being Lorega. Only about a 5 minute walk from our house, this is one of the poorest places in the city. People can rent land here extremely cheap, or just squat. Their homes are just shacks, built out of stone or whatever they can find. What we would consider to be a small room is their entire abode. Sometimes for 10 people. They get their electricity by tapping onto other people's lines. Prostitution, gambling, and drugs run like water here. But in spite of all this unbelievable action, there is something perhaps even harder to believe. The entire community of Lorega is built on a cemetery. And not even like a nice Canadian clean cut cemetery with neatly rowed tombstones. No. The tombs here are above ground, some stacked upon each other, placed with no seeming order whatsoever. Sometimes the concrete may crack open, so a homeless person will sweep out the bones and use it for shelter from the rain. That is, until somebody else dies and they are placed in the disintegrated crypt and it is re-enclosed.

As appalling as this all sounds, words cannot even begin to describe it. Even pictures, which they say are worth a thousand words, don't convey the actuality of life in Lorega. My attempts to express what it feels like to see children living in this environment, a graveyard as their playground, cannot tell you wholly about this way of life.

However, in the midst of all this destitution, God is working in wondrous ways. An example being the story of Riezl, who has spent her whole life at Lorega, still having hope and faith. And now a 2nd year student in university training to become a travel agent. Or Davis, a former hit-man and drug addict, now holding Bible studies and leading people to the Lord. The sewers for Bahandi bags, now able to earn enough income to feed their families.

I so wish I could be able to make you understand about this place. Because you cannot experience it and come out unchanged in some way.

Please pray for the people in this community, and please pray for us as we weld relationships in this place, that we could do something that will last, not just be a small breeze stirring the dust only to let it settle immediately afterwards.

Peace be with you,

Amberlea

"I WILL DIE WITHOUT RICE!! EVERY MEAL!!"....this is what we hear from our dear friends here in the Philippines. We personally think its psychological- and we were told today that if they miss rice for 2 meals they will start to have unidentifyable sicknesses..oh boy...unidentifyable sickness, this sounds serious...."oh my toe aches!"...quick eat rice. "Oh my teeth hurt!" ...quick eat rice! "oh i have a headache"...quick eat rice! and no joke, they can eat so much bread and fruit and such to the point where we as North Americans would be stuffed to the rim, and they will still complain of being so terribly hungry...the only cure...you guessed it! Rice! i already LOVE the Philippines!
oh and us three Ambers were having a discussion with our new friends about the chicken fetuses, and they say they 'incubate' them sometimes up to 16 days...did you know thats when they are growing their little finger nails! and than they said that chicks will hatch at something like 28 days, so they will incubate till 24 days...and than eat them! now i'm not sure how accurate that is, but honestly i dont' think it really matters the exact days - Amber Kay wanted to know if they murder their other pets - they just looked at her in shock...sigh.

Peace out
AR

The way we move

Over here in the Philippines, gettin' there is half the fun of being there. On Monday we had several villages to visit and on the way we experienced FOUR types of Filipino transportation. First, Jeepneys. Let me explain. Jeepneys are recovered World War II vehicles, and very VERY roughly resemble small school buses. The ceilings are low and there is a bench on either side with just enough room to get by in the middle. The outsides are every color of the rainbow, each decorated in a completely different theme and design. Inside...well, it's squishy. You are sandwiched together, half on top of each other, and always wishing you hadn't had that extra serving of rice last time you ate. But at least it's cozy! Our record was 25 people....squishy squishy. I honestly thought that was the limit...until I experienced a 34-person squish. How is it done? Don't ask me. I guess it would help that there were 5 or 6 people hanging off the back. Boys, that is. Girls are strictly prohibited from riding the back of Jeepneys. We tried to find out from Rhonda why this is. She could only tell us it is a part of the culture, that men and women have very distinct roles here. Skeptical, Amber Rae decided to test this hypothesis. No sooner was she on the back of the Jeepney, the driver slowed down, turned around with a horrified expression on his face and cried out "no! iss not good! iss not proper!" So Amber Rae got back inside. And Rhonda just laughed at us. When you want the driver to stop, all you do is bang on the roof, or smack a coin against the rods you hang onto. The first thing I learned about jeepneys is if you want to do the banging method, make sure the roof isn't padded. =)

Next along our route, we took a tricycle. Let me clarify. A tricycle is actually a motorbike with a sort of covered cart on the side which ideally probably 2 people could sit in. Like Jeepneys, I discovered you can always fit more, and we piled in 9 of us, including the driver, and two behind him on the motorbike. There are also manual versions, and I have a great deal of respect/pity for the poor men struggling along the busy streets.

Third, we took a ferry. We went to an island close by Cebu, and the ride was only about 20 minutes. In fact, there is a bridge connecting our two islands, but by sea is a little faster. It's about 25cents American per person. It was at night so we got to see all the lights of Cebu and the hill above the city on Lapu-Lapu. Beautiful!

Lastly, here is my very favorite mode of transportation...(please don't tell our mothers!)... Motorcycles! My first EVER experience of a motorbike was after we had climbed to the top of a mountain just outside Cebu city. We thought we had to walk all the way down so we were doubly excited to learn we could ride! Amberlea and I rode together behind the driver. For a few seconds we were completely horrified and terrified, and as we took off, I vaguely remember Amberlea screaming "we're going to diiieeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" However, we soon realized that if we did, we'd just go to heaven, so we might as well enjoy it. And we did. It really was breakneck speed, but the cool mountain air was blowing in our faces, and it was utterly thrilling. A bike in the city might be a little more nerve-wracking, as they skirt in and out amid the jeepney's and never have a lane to themselves. But that's another story. All I can say is Albertan traffic is going to seem pretty tame after this!

love,

Amberkay.

A day of Firsts

It was a horrifying yet mesmerizing experience...i saw my first...and possibly last cock fight! It was Sunday, which was the Sinulog Festival- a festival only in Cebu, with a massive intense parade, street vendors, pigs roasting on sticks, henna tattoos...and an excuse for a cock fight. We passed this large group of men shouting and men walking around holding their ROOSTERS. And i asked Rhonda if it was a cock fight and if we could watch, i was quite excited. so we joined the crowd of sweaty and smelly men as i stood on my tip toes to see the action. I watched as they were calling out bets and making the roosters extremely angry at each other. You should have seen the amount of money passing hands there....right on the outskirts of a cemetery where squatters live and children starve...but apparently those men thought seeing two roosters attack each other was more important than feeding their children. anyways at one point they opened the gate to let some men in and they were motioning to me to come in and get a better view, and i was confused at the chaos and thought, "hey, it would be nice to actually see whats going on" so i was stepping in, when all of a sudden a hand grabs the back of my shirt and yanks me back, and Rhonda says, "you will NOT be going any further than this"....i won't lie, i was scared for a moment when i realized that i would have been in the pit and could have been ATTACKED by angry roosters!! thank you Rhonda. Anyways, i squeezed in and got a view- so the roosters had an extra claw, it was a big claw tied and wrapped around the roosters leg... i froze as the cover was taken off and a sharp curved knife glinted in the sunlight. It was like in the movies and i was horrified. Another observer was keen in explaining the whole process to us 3 white girls, that the extra claw is used for extra advantage...huh NO KIDDING! 2 seconds later they held up the two enemies and let go - like i said i was horrified and mesmerized as i watched them attack each other, wings flailing and claws digging. It didn't last long, until the death of one. Lovely thought eh!
and than walking home, Jonah insisted that we experience a real Philippine delicacy... APPARENTLY eating chicken FETUSES is a treat! so Jonah bought the egg and opened it, took a bite and looked like she was in heaven than passed it to me...after a moments hesitation i took a large bite, figuring i might as well try and say i did. honestly it took all my might not to make a huge scene and barf it up there on the spot. The texture was like rubber! and for those of you who know me, when eating, textures are important. so that terrible texture along with the knowledge that i was devouring a chicken fetus, i gagged a couple times and swallowed it. Amber Lea and Amber Kay had a try also, and had the exact same warm fuzzy feelings i did.
peace out
Amber Rae

Stolen Heart

Its finally happened!! My heart has been stolen!!.....alright alright calm down everyone...His name is Marvin. He is a young boy here who was in a fire years ago, and he's got burns covering his legs, arms, a patch on his face, and a large spot on his head, where no hair grows now. He is so special, extremely affection and has a loving smile. Last night all three of us went to a feeding, put on by Operation Mobilization, for children who are living in poverty. Just in from a busy street, under cement covering, a large group of kids gathered to recite a bible verse and hear a bible story, and than of course eat. The kids wanted to hold our hands and sit in our laps as they listened to the bible story. And Marvin sat in my lap, and in doing so, stole my heart. He didn't want my arms to leave him, and he shifted to find the most comfortable position to try and sleep, being so tired. I looked at him and just loved him instantly. I looked over to Anna and she had a little girl sitting in her lap and Amberly had a very active boy sitting in her lap as well, and i know they were loving up on these kids as well. And my prayer as i am sure Anna and Amberly's is also (sorry girls for speaking for you ;) is that even though we may not be fluent in Cebuano language, we may speak to these children in the language of Love. God has poured out his love on each of us, and because of that we are able to show His love to these children. I pray that they will see God's love, and know that our arms are His, and our laps are His and they are fully protected.
peace out - Amber Rae

January 12th, The Comfort Room

When you hear "Comfort Room" what do you think of? I personally picture a cozy room, warm with a window that receives all the sunlight, a comfy couch with large throw pillows, painted in calming colors, and a t.v. and stereo for your choice of entertainment. and of course BOOKS! lots of them :) ...Here in the Philippines their comfort room consists of a toilet and shower :s hmm.. strange.
but i guess if you are able to relieve yourself and shower after a very hot and humid day...well that would provide comfort:) So i guess its not so weird after all!

Peace out - Amber Rae

Jan 8-sneezing and good friends

1 Kings 4:35b

"The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes."

In an attempt to be as biblical as possible....okay, we actually don't know why, but something in the Philippine air has subjected our poor dear Amberlea to a semi-permanent case of sneezing. However, it does appear to be getting better; the daily count has been steadily declining from 86 to 74 and is getting even better. And let's look on the bright side, you can't ever loose her, you can hear her from a mile away.
We are so grateful for Rhonda's foresight and fabulous ideas. She has paired each of us with a Filipina girl who can be our prayer partner and special friend who can teach us about all the little nuances of the Philippine culture that we would never be able to figure out on our own. In turn, we get to teach them all the silly things Canadians do. They are all close to our age and studying at the university in Cebu. Here, highschool only goes up to grade 10, so you can graduate from univerisy by the time you are 20 (our age). Here is a little bit about each of our partners:

Amberkay: my partner's name is Ocean. She is 19 and in her second year of university. She is the cutest thing I have ever seen, she comes to a little past my waste, and when I hug her I kneel down, and we're about the right height for hugging. She is so sweet. She is a little bit Chinese, as there are a lot of Chinese in the Philippines. She has a great story; she has had so many accidents, she says she has a cat with nine lives, and she has used up eight of them. She told us one story about how she fractured her neck, but God was gracious to her, and she is no longer paralyzed, and she is fine now! She loves acting, just like me, and was just in a play where she was the villain. So, we had a lot in common. =) I'm so excited to get to know her more.

Amberlea: Riezl is my partner. A 17 year old tourism student, and she is from Lorega. She lives there with her 7 siblings. She is turning 18 in a few weeks and that is a pretty big deal here, so we are having a party for her. She is writing a book about Lorega, and it looks really cool. I'm looking forward to it being published. She is very funny, and always teases us about things. She just texted me that she is putting together her first tour package for a client right now! I'm really excited to spend more time getting to know her and her life her.

Amber Rae: Jonah is the lovely and extremely humerous girl, who is also 20! perfect :) right from the taxi ride from the airport, she and i connected, joking with each other, throwing a bit of sarcasm around and showing some love. She already knows that one of my languages of love is physical touch and she gives the most amazing massages! haha even this morning she told me not to go to bed early, because she has to give me a massage! haha lucky me, now i look forward to getting to know her and finding her language of love so i can serve her. I already know i can and will learn so much from her, and i'm blessed to see her smiling face every morning. She is studying in the universtity for her business and marketing degree...something which i know not of, but maybe i might pick up a few things :) She is fabulous!!! Awesome sense of humour!!! and yaya, i have no other words :)

Jan 7- First Impressions.

Thanks again Air Canada for your EXCELLENT service in luggage transport. *Sarcasm* But it's okay, Air Canada, Amberlea doesn't really need her clothes.

We had planned (upon our first glimpse of Rhonda) to drop our bags and leap into her welcoming embrace, but instead all we could do was stand there, separated by mounds of luggage and troops of security guards, and transmit cheerful and explanatory gestures to Rhonda and her friend.

Finally, we were able to greet each other. Oh it was so great to finally speak in real life. Her friend was Jonah, one of our new roommates. A great girl, with too good of a sense of humor, as Amber Rae found out when it came to cockroaches, her greatest fear. She was doing reasonably well, until Jonah calmly stepped over to the table where we were sitting, positioned her broom and dustpan under Amber Rae's feet, and said "oh let me get that cockroach out of the way for you." Of course there wasn't one, but we have seen several.

At the house, we also met BJ, our other roommate, a third year nursing student at the university.

Our house is amazing! It is on a narrow, but very busy road. There is a high gate with coils of barbed wire at the top, protecting our humble abode. Our upstairs room is spacious, with 5 beds neatly in a row. Our sleeping order is Canadian-Filipina-Canadian-Filipina-Canadian. WHOA SWEAT! Hence, no blankets, just one fitted sheet. YAY no making beds in the morning!!!

Quick info update.

Genesis 17:5

"No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham."

Because Anna was feeling a little left out of the Amber club, AND as the result of noticing the panicked faces of Filipinos whenever we were introduced, we have followed the road taken by Abraham, and done a slight name change. From this day forward, our names have become

Amberlea

Amber Rae

AmberKay (Anna)

Everyone loves it, the Filipinos can now just call us Lea, Rae, and Kay, and we are always asked "Are you sisters?" (Filipino sisters often are given the same name with a different ending.)

The End.

Jan 6 - getting there.

Blizzard conditions; Amber woke up late; Major traffic jam; Amberly's car got stuck in the snow; Anna forgot ticket and passport at home; Line-ups were crazy. However, we did manage to get on the Calgary flight on time. Arriving in Vancouver, we had approximately 6 minutes, 21 seconds to reach our connecting flight to Korea. As we were bolting top-speed through the crowded terminal, Anna's high-heels snapped, Amber had a nervous breakdown due to lack of travel experience, and Amberly, insisted on getting her daily Starbucks venti-soy-no foam-half sweet-triple shot-decaffeinated-toffee nut latte.

Yeaaaaaaaah...... no.

Sadly, our trip was utterly uneventful, but we did see lots of good movies.

P.S. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.... go rent it.

Leaving on a jet plane!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010
For months we've been planning....for weeks we've been stressing, and for days we've been packing. We have been running around like chickens with their heads cut off.....only worse, because we actually still had our heads intact, which meant we were worrying like marshwiggles AS WELL as running around frantically...and....okay, it was bad. But now it's here! Can it be we are really going to be arriving in Cebu city, on the island of Cebu, in the Philippines, 28 hours from now???????

So we're pretty sure this battery illustration would break down rather quickly if pushed too far, so we'll just give you two reasons that's our name. First, (the obvious one), our names are Anna, Amber, and Amberly. Yeah..... we feel bad for anyone who has to meet us as a group. It's kind of overwhelming. Second, like a battery in a flashlight, we want to be used to shine The Light.